5 Things Everyone Should Know About IVF
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Things Everyone Should Know About IVF?” If you can, please share a story or an example for each one.
1. Balancing Hope and Anxiety: It’s natural to feel a mix of hope and anxiety during the IVF process. Allowing yourself to embrace moments of hope without being consumed by worry can be incredibly freeing.
During my own IVF journey, after a series of disappointments — from learning we could only conceive through IVF to finding out many retrieved eggs were unviable — I finally received good news. The blastocyst was attaching, and all hormonal levels were optimal. When I shared this with my mother, she noticed my reserved excitement. I confessed my fear of impending bad news. Her response was transformative: “You have a lifetime of worries ahead as a parent, but don’t let that steal your moments of joy.” This perspective shift helped me celebrate our small victories and be present in the process. Now, as I watch my daughter, who is the result of that successful cycle, grow up, I’m reminded of the importance of balancing joy with the inevitable worries of parenthood.
2. Unless asked, no one needs your 2 cents: People undergoing IVF often receive unsolicited advice about any and everything, no matter how personal or private. They get endless alternative remedies and lifestyle changes. It’s important to recognize that such comments, however well-intentioned, can feel dismissive of the medical and emotional complexities involved in their IVF journey. And please, if nothing else, do not, I repeat DO NOT tell someone that they are not getting pregnant because of stress, or ‘ just relax and it will happen on its own’. I heard this so many times it made me want to scream at anyone who uttered those ignorant (even if well-intentioned) words to me while trying or going through IVF.
3. Impact on Intimacy and Sex: IVF can significantly affect a couple’s sexual relationship, transforming intimacy into a mechanical process often associated with stress rather than pleasure.
Most if not all of my couples going through IVF (especially my hetero couples) found that their sex life had become solely focused on conception, stripping away the joy and spontaneity they once enjoyed. Their bodies were not about seeking pleasure but producing something, turns out not many find that sexy! We worked on reclaiming their intimacy by scheduling non-IVF-related date nights and exploring other forms of physical affection.
4. Embrace the Emotional Spectrum: The emotional rollercoaster of IVF is intense, with highs and lows that can feel overwhelming. Acknowledging and accepting these emotions as normal can be a powerful step in managing them.
When working with my clients we roll with whatever comes up, no judgments, no expectations, they want to yell and cry, great let’s do it, they want to make inappropriate jokes and laugh through the endless awkwardness of IVF I’m in! Just being able to ride the wave with someone is so valuable and healing. I know, for me, I was lucky to have people around me who were down for whatever feeling was there, logical or not.
5. Choose the Right Healthcare Provider: The importance of trust and comfort with your IVF team cannot be overstated. Patients should feel empowered to advocate for themselves and choose clinicians who not only have the requisite expertise but also genuinely listen and respond to their concerns. This is true for any doctor, but when going through this, it’s especially important to get a team around you that you trust and feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible while being poked and prodded) with.
Want to read more? Check out Lyn’s article at Authority Magazine to continue the journey!